  "There's no blood in my alcohol system" "W.W.J.D ... Who Wants Jack Daniel's" "I'm not drunk... I'm just exhausted cause i've been up all night drinking" "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not..." "This isn't a beer gut, it's a protective covering for my rock hard abs" "A friend will call you in Jail. A good friend will visit you in Jail. A best friend will be sitting next to you in Jail saying..."THAT WAS AWESOME!" "I'd rather regret the things I have done than the things I have not." "Pride of nationality depends not on ignorance of other nations, but on ignorance of one's own" "If you can't convince them, confuse them" "Life is hard compared to what?" I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven... Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.  I don't care what anyone says! Fred Durst is the shit. http://profiles.myspace.com/users/4680117My Profile on MySpace.com 
Contact Me
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Mar 13, 2005
holy shit! i haven't been on here in ages!
hello! im back *waves* I haven't logged on here in like 4 months. anyone still read this shit? blah blah blah. so my life sucks *lol* no one likes me, my boyfriend hates me and thinks i'm "crazy" (jk he doesn't hate me today) sarah broke up with me & asked for all her stuff back....but we're friends again, attended a few outtings together recently. I got 2 new tattoos. I lost my dsl connection *cries* i HATE AOL! everytime i log on i get mad & want to kill everyone, this has to be the worst internet provider ever, & i hope all the aol people get herpes. I'm supposed to be doing my laundry right now, going to the beach with sarah today (falls on the floor laughing) this should be fun. we went to the beach last year & complained all day about how much we hate the sun, sand, kids, water, fish, rocks, ...but love the beach!!!!!! lol we're both really pale, so we pretend to be from somewhere else, i think im going to be from Idaho today. kinda of funny, we both live 3 min from the beach, & go there once a year. i hate the sun, makes all my freckles pop out, plus i have a million tattoos & i turn bright red when im outside for more than 4 minutes. I'm going to join a gym soon. Im obese! i have more rolls then a bakery :( well im going to leave now, i'll be back later
Posted at 08:42 am by LittleChaos18
Nov 11, 2004
Yippy! I haven't blogged in ages! the 12 step program is really working. I was so addicted to blogging. ::twitch:: soooooo! It's thur. afternoon, just talked to Sarah....jogging/work-out day was cancled due to her being called into work. It's alright though, cause I'm mad tired. I've been walking to & from work all week. I think I might go take a nice long shower and hop into my bed soon. Steve just went for a job interveiw, so I'm quite bored. Pssss I <3 that kid! haha. Sat. I attended a small get together for a band you may or may not have heard of...METALLICA!!!!!!! Honestly I don't even know what to say, just blows my f*cking mind away just thinking about it. We were <seriously> about 5 feet from the worlds greatest band.... I remember looking over to my right and there stood James, my eyeballs felt like they were glued open, I couldn't blink!...& they had mad pyro going on, so all this smoke and heat was burning the green right out of my eyes!!!! *lol* AMAZING show! ...once again I'm totally lost for words ::shakes her head::
(note to sarah: 2 YEARS IN A ROW MOFO! I can't believe we pulled that shit off again! lesson here is, never doubt two drunk 1/2 naked bitches who want to rock out to METALLICA who just so happen to have SEATS! and not g/a floor tickets,some would say "where there's a will, there's a way" ...just have to harrass the right people LOL )
AHOY! I have a couple of photos to share with you!!!
The first one is Steve (he's f*cking hot!...looks like a firefighter)
Second one is my fat ass reading at the train station...as I think about eatting rocks.
 
HAHA! He deserves something really special for putting up with my shit for 2 months.
<---James
 <---METALLICA!!!
Posted at 03:05 pm by LittleChaos18
Oct 30, 2004
God Damn It! I'm sooooo sleepy!!! Didn't do anything all day. Sat at home and got bitched for the most part *lol* I really hate when I don't do anything, just waste the day away. I really have to get out of this house ASAP before I seriously go insane. I'm waiting for Jenny to call me, we're supposed to be going out tonight. If I don't hear from her by 7pm I'm going to take a nap. BLAH I'm hungry again! I can't stop eatting. I've gained like 5lbs in the past 2 days. I've noticed whenever I get bored, I eat. I didn't attend work yesterday, so I just chilled at home & ate everything in sight. DOO BEE DOO I talked to Sarah last night. That jerk is on vacation! I tried to call her back, but she called on a calling card, so the number that showed up on my caller Id wouldn't go through *tear* Feels really strange going out on a sat night without her. I think I'm going to buy her a gift tomorrow, maybe a new belt or something. HA HA I blow dried my hair today with no hair products in it.....I look like an 8 year old boy. I have a long bowl cut- hair do. I just feel like shit today. I'm fat, ugly, my hair is limp, have zero make up on, still in pjs, im itching, & my skin is oily. I need to change the barbell in my tongue, I'm tired of this purple ball. ::sticks a weird object through hole in tongue:: weeeeee HAHA just put a toothpick in that bitch. (Note to sarah: METALLICA in ONE WEEK) My dads b-day is next week. I got him some Red Skelton dvd's. I have to remember to buy a card. Well it's 6pm, I'm going to eat a rice krispie treat & take a shower. I really want some McDonalds fries, c'mon Jenny! call me. LOL she has been neglecting my ferby needs eversince sarah took off. I had a dream last night that Sarah made me take the train to the Metallica concert & we seen BW sitting 4 seats away from us near the doors & when the train stopped to pick up more people, she picked him up & threw him out the door...but he like hit a wall and bounced back in. (falls on the floor laughing)
Posted at 02:58 pm by LittleChaos18
Oct 26, 2004
"you shouldn't judge what you don't understand"
*beep beep* I haven't blogged in days!!!! Went to Halloweenie Roast on sat. that shit was awesome as always. Got drunk with Sarah, danced in the rain, harrassed people...normal concert outting. It was pretty cool, alot of people came up to us and were like "hey! I remember you guys!!!" "can I take a picture?" "hey everyone look! here comes them lezbo party bitches!" We missed alot of the bands that we wanted to see! Papa Roach tore the place up, I really enjoyed them. I was kinda mad that I missed Shinedown, oh well! we still had fun. It took us like 6 hours to get to Miami on a train *lol* I will NEVER get on one of those bitches again. I H-A-T-E!! the Tri-rail/Metro-rail...but I did enjoy riding on the little trolly thing "go skate board go!!" haha! that mofo is like a little rollercoaster/train thing & no one was driving it!!! The first thing we did when we got to Bayfront, after slapping handcuffs on, was FIND THE BACARDI/BEER BOOTH!! we were about to kill someone if we didn't get some alcohol back into our systems. We got drunk as hell the night before, I didn't go to sleep till like 6am.....Sarah wondered in at 7am ready to party again. We got ready for the show & headed out... After the concert we passed out in Jenny's car. It was kinda funny.... cause we were still cuffed together & wet from the rain, we looked like two broken down hookers. Steve yelled at me for being a drunk slut LOL.... Then we woke up at yet another party! I decided to be wise and chose not to drink....though others said I should *lol* We didn't stay to long. As soon as I walked in my room,I hopped in my bed & was dead asleep....didn't wake up till 2:30pm sunday afternoon. Hmmmm My mom might be coming home tomorrow. She's been in the hospital for over a week now. It's been weird around here without her. DOH!!!!!!!!!!!! Steve got me the coolest gift (well it wasn't really a gift lol) it's a solar light/lamp that you put in your yard & it automatically comes on when it gets dark. Its really spiffy. I put my hand over the little solar square & this weird tingle went through my arm, felt really...well weird....boogled my brain. ::BUZZ:: I dunno if its safe to have it indoors though (Plese I.M me if you know for a fact they shouldn't be kept indoors on a desk) Alrighty, well I better get going....I have to clean my house. AHOY AHOY
Posted at 05:14 pm by LittleChaos18
Linkin park-breaking the habit
Memories concern
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safer in my room
Unless I try to start again
[Chorus]
I don't want to be the one
Who battles always choose
Cuz inside I realize
That I'm the one confused
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit tonight
Cultured my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I have no options left again
[Chorus]
I dont want to be the one
Who battles always choose
Cuz inside I realize
That I'm the one confused
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit tonight
I'll paint it on the walls
Cuz I'm the one that falls
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends
[Chorus]
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
to show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
I’m breaking the habit tonight Posted at 04:38 pm by LittleChaos18
Oct 16, 2004
Don't go away...I never meant to hurt you
"And out of the darkness, the Zombie did call
True pain and suffering he brought to them all
Away ran the children to hide in their beds,
for fear that the devil would chop off their heads" (Rob Zombie-Hellbilly Deluxe)
Alright! Sat night & I'm sitting at home. Yippy!!! Everyone is out having a good ol' time, and I'm online talking to random people. LA DE DA actually I'm still sick & I'm on mom duty tonight. I think my sister is coming home tomorrow, so I'm hoping I can go out for a little while. I'm not used to being at home this much, I don't know what to do with myself. I'm so bored I can hardly stand it ::runs into a wall:: I wanted to see Steve, but I'm stuck here. I'm lacking attention today "pet me, love me, feed me". I called Sarah, but she hung up on me *lol* :( I think she hates me. Not sure what I did though. Talked to Sean a little while ago, feels like I haven't talked to him in ages! I have like 90 million things to tell him. WOO HOO! My dad just gave me some more coupons for Denny's. Well I'm tired & my head is hurting, I'm gonna go pop some more pills and take a nap.
~Faith No More-Epic~
Can you feel it, see it, hear it today?
If you can't, then it doesn't matter anyway
You will never understand it cuz it happens too fast
And it feels so good, it's like walking on glass
It's so cool, it's so hip, it's alright
It's so groovy, it's outta sight
You can touch it, smell it, taste it so sweet
But it makes no difference cuz it knocks you off your feet
You want it all but you can't have it
It's cryin', bleedin', lying on the floor
So you lay down on it and you do it some more
You've got to share it, so you dare it
Then you bare it and you tear it
You want it all but you can't have it
It's in your face but you can't grab it
It's alive, afraid, a lie, a sin
It's magic, it's tragic, it's a loss, it's a win
It's dark, it's moist, it's a bitter pain
It's sad it happened and it's a shame
You want it all but you can't have it
It's in your face but you can't grab it
What is it?
It's it
What is it?...
Posted at 08:50 pm by LittleChaos18
Oct 15, 2004
Blah I'm feeling sick today. I spent 12 hours at the hospital yesterday...My mom went in for her back surgery. When I got home last night I was sick! done caught some germs. Throat is all sore, glands are swollen up, I have a fever,I was twitching, & my body aches all over. BLAH!!!!! I haven't been to work in 3 days. I got into this big fight with my mom at the begining of the week & she told me to get my shit and leave, so I stayed with Steve for a few days. She let me come home though. I think she just needed some time away from me. I decided I really like Steven *lol* great kid. He cracks me up.... MAN! that Sarah never talks me to these days :( I think she is breaking up with me. I haven't hung out with her in days! she never calls me. I'm going to call her and see what's going on, then force her to be my friend again! YAY (note to sarah: please be my friend, I'm going to buy you a nice gift) ::starts to dance around:: I've been popping pills all day. Found some cold medicine & other stuff in the kitchen. It makes me feel really spaced out...it's great. AWWWW! that Jenny has a boyfriend now! I was playing match maker the other day. She's dating this guy I know Chris. Lovely couple I must say. OMG!!! the other day I had "feelings" lmao, weirdest thing ever. I dunno what is wrong with me. I might go to The Factory tonight! Harrass Noah some more. Erics band is doing a show there. If I'm still feeling like shit, I might just stay home though...we'll see. I gotta call Jenny and see if she wants to go. Ewww I'm all sweaty, stupid fever is breaking. I need to take a shower again. I'm really hungry, but my throat is mad sore...bitches. LA LA LA LA We'll I'm gonna go clean up the house. I gotta do something useful today.
She's got a smile that it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
Where everything
Was as fresh as the bright blue sky
Now and then when I see her face
She takes me away to that special place
And if I stared too long
I'd probably break down and cry
Sweet child o' mine
Sweet love of mine
She's got eyes of the bluest skies
As if they thought of rain
I hate to look into those eyes
And see an ounce of pain
Her hair reminds me
of a warm safe place
Where as a child I'd hide
And pray for the thunder
And the rain
To quietly pass me by
Sweet child o' mine
Sweet love of mine
Where do we go
Where do we go now
Where do we go
Sweet child o' mine
Posted at 10:18 am by LittleChaos18
Oct 10, 2004
haha...this song reminds me of YOU
You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are...
You and me I can see us dying...are we?
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't tell me cause it hurts!
I know what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't speak,
don't speak,
don't speak,
oh I know what you're thinking
And I don't need your reasons
I know you're good,
I know you're good,
I know you're real good
Oh, la la la la la la La la la la la la
Don't, Don't, uh-huh Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush
don't tell me tell me cause it hurts
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurts
I was just talking to someone & this song popped into my head---weird!
Posted at 09:13 pm by LittleChaos18
what doesn't bend, breaks
Well this weekend was interesting nontheless. Friday was great, went to the Factory, chilled at the bar most of the night with Noah (yippy) I don't know what it is about that guy, I just think he's the greatest thing since peanut butter lol. Seen Erics punk ass, I really miss his crazy-ness. We met up with Steven after that, at Bikini Bobs. Had a few $1 mixed drinks on the roof bar. Last night was kinda...weird. Jenny was having a rough night, everyone was fighting, no one knew what they wanted to do. Just a rough sat night I tell ya. We went to the Ft Lauderdale Strip & shot pool at this bar,I still suck! Sarah was kicking ass. Then we watched Steven & his friend play. After that things just got bad *lol* I was tired& cranky, Jen was angery, Sarah was bored & hiding under the seat (lmao) We drove all over town. Ended up back at my house drinking a 12 pack in the front yard. Then everyone went home. LA LA LA I realized, dispite how I don't have feelings & don't give a shit about anything/anyone...I really like Steve alot. Kinda boggles my brain. I just like being around him. I feel bad though, cause I don't know how to be nice & I'm always being a jerk to him...even though I'm just joking around. BLAH!!!!!!! anywho..... here's a song i like.
I found some peace today
I grit my teeth
And swallow all my pain and selfish pride
I use to hide behind
Let me out, let me out I’m singing
Let me out, let me out I’m singing
I’m a liar and a cheat in prison
Accused of telling the truth
The flames are panes, they pain my eyes
Child alone since his face won’t lie
Time burns my soles again
Sifting through the smoking lies
Swimming next in a loveless dive
first and last ain't ever the same, so I’ll keep on singing this
I don’t care if you’re right or if I'm always wrong
Just want to sing my song before this whole world
Now and forever
I stand to sever all ties and connections with recollections of pain or fear
From Police, society, authority and other people
Swallowing tears, lining my stomach
Getting free-er every second eroding and exploding all this ??
Metal prison bars block out minds
Your truths all televise
I never bought it and I won’t play your games, for vain
Are we just rats in a ???, scraping for cheese in a maze made to lose
No, I’m not and I won’t eat your food
I don’t care if your right or if I’m always wrong,
Just want to sing my song before this whole world ...GONE
Future Leaders of the World....
Posted at 04:41 pm by LittleChaos18
Oct 7, 2004
Dolls of voodoo all stuck with pins
One for each of us and our sins
So you lay us in a line
Push your pins, they make us humble
Only you can tell in time
If we fall or merely stumble
But tell me
Can you heal what father's done
Or fix this hole in a mother's son
Can you heal the broken worlds within
Can you strip away so we may start again
Tell me, can you heal what father's done
Or cut this rope and let us run
Just when all seems fine and I'm pain free
You jab another pin, jab another pin in me
Mirror, mirror upon the wall
Break the spell or become the doll
See you sharpening the pins
So the holes will remind us
We're just the toys in the hands of another
And in time the needles turn from shine to rust
But tell me, can you heal what father's done
Or fix this hole in a mother's son
Can you heal the broken worlds within
Can you strip away so we may start again
Tell me, can you heal what father's done
Or cut this rope and let us run
Just when all seems fine and I'm pain free
You jab another pin, jab another pin in me
Jab it
Blood for face, sweat for dirt
Three X's for the stone
To break this curse
A ritual's due, I believe I'm not alone
Shell of shotgun, pint of gin
Numb us up to shield the pins
Renew our faith, which way we can
To fall in love with life again
To fall in love with life again
To fall in love with life again
To fall in love, to fall in love
To fall in love with life again
So tell me, can you heal what father's done
Or fix this hole in a mother's son
Can you heal the broken worlds within
Can you strip away so we may start again
Yeah, tell me, can you heal what father's done
Or cut this rope and let us run
Just when all seems fine and I'm pain free
You jab another pin, jab another pin in me
Oh yeah
No more pins in me, yeah
No more, no more pins in me
No more, no more pins in me
No more, no more, no more
No, no, no
Posted at 06:04 pm by LittleChaos18
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